As a Family Law Specialist, I am frequently asked “What do I do to prepare for a divorce?” A little pre-divorce planning can go a long way to help expedite and maximize what you will get in your divorce case. The closer you get to the time for the divorce, the more early preparation will save you from unnecessary trouble. These strategies (or some version of them) apply to some extent in every divorcing situation:
- Get counseling early. If you do not want to get a divorce, get into counseling as soon as you feel trouble starting. If you wait too long, the divorce will feel like a ‘runaway train’ and there will be little you can do to slow down or stop the process. Remember that it takes two to make a marriage continue.
- File for divorce as soon as possible. When you recognize that the end has come, file for divorce. It may not be to your advantage to wait for the other spouse to file. In fact, that delay is only likely to hurt you if there is a chance you may have to pay spousal maintenance. Spousal maintenance is based in part on the time you were married. Thus, the sooner you split the less your ultimate spousal obligation is likely to be. If you are receiving spousal support, maybe a strategy is to wait for the filing. Speak with an attorney early on about this important issue.
- Document your assets. For example, make a video tape recording of your stuff. Open closets and drawers cupboards and boxes and film what is inside. Be particularly careful if any items are considered ‘collectible.’ It is often helpful to narrate the film taking time to describe what is there – even if only in general terms such as ‘This is my sock drawer’ or ‘This is my sports equipment.
- Protect your credit. Credit accounts can be left alone, frozen or cancelled when a divorce is imminent. Most banks will not let you close an account when it has a balance due on it. However, most banks will freeze an account when you tell them what is happening to you. Banks will not talk to you about an account that is not connected to your name. In short, if your name is not on the account, don’t bother with it.
- Control your funds. If you have funds that belong to you alone, get them to a safe account where you can control them. If you have joint funds, be careful not to mingle those funds in an existing account with your private funds. Instead, put those funds in their own account. Keep a record of all expenditures you make from joint funds.
- Copy important papers. Before the access to papers is taken from you by your spouse or the courts, copy as much as you can. Copies of documents showing title to property and automobiles together with copies of current bank statements may help your attorney establish the true value of your marital estate. In addition, it may help establish a marital waste claim against your spouse. If there has been correspondence that could help your case in court (love letters and the like) copy those too. Appraisals to property, including valuation of jewelry for insurance purposes, can be handy to prove the true values of items.
- Copy tax records. Tax returns which are complete and signed are the best records to get. Normally the previous 3-5 years are ample for court purposes. Be certain to copy all attachments and schedules. This will help the court determine the correct income for each spouse. This information is often used in establishing spousal maintenance and child support obligations.
- Close joint accounts. Open new ones in your name alone.
- Get a current credit report. This information will assist in determining what bills are due, what are likely to become due and what effect your spouse’s conduct will have on you both during and after the divorce.
- Keep your eyes open. While searching for important records, you may stumble across secret purchases held alone by your spouse. Copy everything related to your find.
Most importantly, these strategies do not replace receiving legal advice early on regarding the specifics of your individual case. A consultation early with a lawyer at Ellsworth Family Law, P.C. can help you prepare for and time the filing of your divorce case to ensure that you obtain the best result possible.
Steven M. Ellsworth