When it is time for you to terminate your marriage, it is best to hire a lawyer first. The price you pay for a consultation is well worth the money. A lawyer can help your prepare for the split of assets, debt and parenting time with the children.
Prepare for your consultation by gathering important paperwork like bank statements, credit card statements, deeds to real estate and titles to vehicles. Include damaging information if it exists so the lawyer can know how to handle that information with you later in the representation. Remember, an attorney is helping you through a very important time of your life and through an important part of your family’s life. His advice is based on what you tell him. Keep in mind that your lawyer cannot fix your marriage. He cannot fix your emotional state. He certainly cannot fix the broken things about your soon to be ex-spouse. However, he can help you prepare for the split. He can help you to know your rights and support you when the court battle begins.
The more you fight, the more it costs. It is that simple. If you can agree to resolution early on in the process of divorce, you will be pleased to see that the bill will be comparatively low. If you disagree be sure it is worth the price you will be paying for disagreement. Likewise, the more you are prepared, the faster work can be accomplished and reduce the bottom line cost to you.
Beware of mediation. While mediation can be very productive, many professing to be good mediators lack understanding of the law and the way the laws are applied in the State courts. Often they lack a perspective of what judges may determine in any given case. Lawyers have the training and experience with the direct application of the law and the personalities of the judges. Unless you can resolve all issues in mediation, you are going to be in court. Your mediator will not be representing you in court.
If you choose mediation, then a good protection to you is to have a lawyer review the proposed settlement documents before they are signed by you. A good lawyer may catch important issues which benefit you. If the timing is right, mediation can be a powerful tool to resolve disputes.
Keep communication open. If you have a good lawyer you will be talking about the advantages of settlement along the way. Listen to the advice regardless of whether you agree to settle or not. If you need to be able to negotiate with your soon to be ex-spouse, then being able to talk and keep things cool will be to your advantage.
Be reasonable. You must constantly evaluate your position and keep a perspective of being reasonable. Being reasonable will help you in formal mediation, in your own personal negotiation and in front of the judge if you end up in court over something.